When you feel stuck

How do I move forward? A compilation of sources to help you and an argument towards being courageous by first being aware of your pain and discomfort.

Owl's recent works primarily lay the blueprint.

Taking stock: a few questions

It might help to ask yourself some questions and pinpoint what's important to you.

My answers:
  1. I want be loved, accepted, understood, supported, and needed. I want to feel connected to people. I want to be helpful to others. I want to be happy more than I am sad or suffering. At least, not feel like I'm only just surviving. I don't want to be so afraid. I don't want to be so avoidant. I want to feel safe. I want to feel peace and resilient where peace cannot exist. I want to feel I am enough.
  2. Love, offer support, be supported. Try to be courageous. Continue to be kind.
  3. Learn, be kind, fight dissociation and disembodiment, and stick to my morals and values.
  4. Fanfiction, blog posts, helpful guides, and collections of things that matter to me.

A few more questions: know your focus!

A few questions posed by sneek for sneek, but I think we can benefit from it too. I'm going to write down what matters to me, specifically, my values.

My values:
  • lead with...
    • integrity
      • stick to your word and follow through.
      • be honest when it matters (lie to protect you or others, but don't lie to harm).
    • kindness
      • minimize harm done to others
      • be kind to yourself
    • empathy & understanding
    • authenticity
  • also important to me...
    • individuality
    • open expression
    • autonomy (for me + everyone)

Fragmentation: turn off the printer

Is it worth the pain of avoidance? Of disembodiment? Do you not feel the toothpick wedged in your side? You can take it out. It'll just hurt and bleed for a moment. As Owl points out, you must be aware of the pain first.

You are a human being with human feelings and needs. These are living problems.


Be aware of your base needs. Ask yourself everyday, "what do I need and how can I meet that need?" Not, "How do I pacify myself from the bad feelings?" Do. not. abandon. yourself.

The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage | Susan David

"Being positive has become a new form of moral correctness... it's a tyranny of positivity, and it's cruel, unkind, and ineffective... Rigid denial doesn't work. It's unsustainable for [everyone]."
"But when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity, we lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is and not as we wish it to be."
"...but you have dead people's goals. Only dead people never get unwanted or inconvenienced by their feelings. Only dead people never get stressed."
"Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life."

Susan David, at the end, urges us not to be afraid of and hide from "unwanted" and "ugly" emotions. Instead, we should listen to them. The emotions are trying to tell you something.

Here are your options:


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