Common Themes:

• Not being wanted by family: fundamental rejection
• Being the odd one out / black sheep
• Fear of abandonment
• Putting on a mask / autism / identity
• Being extraordinary / gifted / capable
• Loneliness, isolation, and a lack of friends
• Self-loathing and shame
• Letting the past blind you and hold you down
• Strong sense of justice & black and white moral systems
• Avoidance of reality / running away
• Emotionally distant
• Hyper-Independence: not letting others help you
• Resilience in the face of adversity

I see myself in each and every character, mostly in the ugly, the marginal, and in their pain.

Child Link (Ocarina of Time)

When it comes to video games, Ocarina of Time was my first love. I picked it up in the seventh grade, which was a very formative time in my life. Nothing would prepare me for the grief of OoT. Ocarina of Time is about loss and aptly captures the impermanence of life. We start with a dying Great Deku Tree, a father figure to the Kokiri. Then, we leave the Kokiri, Saria included, behind. There's something so tragic about leaving children behind, left to fend for themselves. It reminds me of an older sibling going to college, creating a feeling of betrayal and abandonment in the younger sibling in that they are no longer being protected by their older sibling. At the time of playing OoT, all of my older siblings had gone to college, and it was deeply painful, even though it wasn't their fault; they had a quest to fulfill, and it wasn't their job to protect me.

The most shocking point of OoT was child Link inadvertently allowing Ganondorf to destroy the world by opening up the Door of Time. Child Link is then transported seven years in the future where he is met with a ruined world. I'd like to think he blames himself for the world's outcome. As players, we are well aquainted with the world as it was before, amplifying the impact of its destruction. We wish things could go back to the way they were before.

Another aspect of Link is stolen youth. He is unable to be a kid. He is thrusted into adult affairs, forced to grow up too fast, and tasked with saving the world. There's also a loneliness to being the odd one out. The not-actually-Kokori boy with no fairy, tasked with a quest only he can carry out. I think there's something to be said about desperately wanting to grow up, gain responsibility and freedom, only to grow up and face the horror that nothing is like what you expected it to be. You wish to be a kid again. Even if things weren't great then, at least it's not this.

At least, art imitates life. When something dies or ends, something is born in its place. The dead Deku Tree is replaced by the Deku Tree Sprout. Link's stolen childhood is given back to him at the end of the game.

Goro Akechi (Persona 5)

Like L, his drive for justice comes from a selfish place. Putting on a mask of perfection to hide the shame of who he really is. It's a lonely existence, acting like someone you're not. It also fragments his identity. Feels ashamed. Akira is probably his only friend, but acquaintance might be a better word. A person that wasn't wanted. Blinded by his quest for revenge would be his downfall. I can't help but think he has intense self-loathing. I'm inclined to read him as Quiet BPD and or autistic (gifted child, masking). Foil to Akira.

I love how he holds himself when masking, though. He's overly formal, serious, and restrained. As someone who is overly-competitive, I love how seriously Akechi takes his challenges against Akira. I love how unhinged he is as the Black Mask, and leaves me wanting more. The throwing of the glove is iconic and very symbolic. I think if someone did that in real life, it would be considered "cringe." I don't know how to better explain this, but it seems like his autistic self is shining through.

Although his death is left ambiguous, I consider him dead. His life's purpose was to get revenge on Shido, and his actions laid the foundation for his demise. It's tragic to watch a beautiful, capable kid throw away his life because of his obsession. It makes you wonder, if only things were different for him

L (Death Note)

I love me a character with a strong sense of justice. A strong moment in the series is when Light and L proclaim, "I am justice." It points out that everybody's definition of justice differs; there's no universal, fixed value system.

He's undeniably autistic.

Part of what makes him such a strong character is being both a parallel and a foil to Light Yagami. He doesn't have friends. I truly believe L considered Light to be his first and only real friend— they were the only ones to truly understand each other— and I find it really tragic. I think I've only met one person in my life that came close to understanding who I was, in all my alien-ness, and it was naturally a special connection.

Light and L definitely have homoerotic tension too, whether you ship them or not; it's palpable.

Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

Wants others to love him. Is alone. Weight of the world on his shoulders. Avoidance. Doesn't know what he wants. He was dealt a bad hand.

Sunny (Omori)

Emotionally blunted. Dissociated. I take comfort in knowing I'm not the only one who is overwhelmed by the outside world, and chooses to stay inside a majority of the time. I assume self-loathing. Waiting for something to happen; stuck is freeze mode. A part of him loves himself enough to protect himself. Omori and Headspace exists to bury the shame and the ugly truth. His father rejects him. Tasked with forgiving himself, even though it's extremely hard. A major repercussion to refusing to face the truth is that Sunny will forever be haunted by SOMETHING. He would choose a long-term discomfort to avoid the short-term discomfort of telling the truth. Sometimes we subject ourselves to more suffering too by avoiding discomfort.

When I learned of the truth, I was disappointed. I thought to myself, "If that were me I could never forgive myself. Sunny should never be forgiven." I quickly realized that was the entire point of the truth. That's why Sunny went to such extreme lengths to avoid acknowledging that fateful incident.

Basil (Omori)

Abandonment issues. Him waiting for someone to save him? Posed from the beginning as an easy target. I think Basil is exceptionally resilient and strong for surviving as long as he did, under the crushing guilt.

Miles Edgeworth (Ace Attorney)

Emotionally closed off. Pushes people away. "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death." Just, wow.

He's definitely deeply in love with Phoenix Wright.

Young Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Lack of a moral compass. Turns to Geto for moral direction. Literally keeping people at arms length 24/7 with Infinity. Him becoming the strongest is what further separates him from others. Gifted and never had to question it, or really try. Everything comes easily to him. I've seen Gojo read as neurodivergent/autistic. It's usually a pretty shallow interpretation and borders the line of infantilization, but I think it can be applied when talking about his innate talents. I'll first apply it to myself. Many times, I feel like when people look at me, they only see my talents. They say stuff like, "Wow! I could never draw like you." It feels like they're putting me on a pedestal while diminishing themselves, when in reality they can become as good as I am. I am just as human as the next person. I just choose to spend my time cultivating my hobbies, as opposed to spending time with friends or such. I think my neurodivergence creates an environment to succeed at creative pursuits, but usually at the cost of something else. It's just isolating when pointed out, and I feel like I'm reduced to the second dimension. It was a low blow for Geto to point out Gojo's power in their post-betrayal conversation. Prior to the betrayal, Geto paid no mind to Gojo's strength. I think he, too, reduced Gojo to the second dimension.

Young Suguru Geto (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Strong, rigid moral compass. I think part of the reason everything fell apart is because he didn't have a strong "why" for protecting the weak, other than it being "the right thing to do." There's mounting resentment for a thankless job. He doesn't take care of himself or ask for help.

Toji Fushiguro (Jujutsu Kaisen)

The "invisible man." Underestimated and overlooked. The black sheep. Becomes extraordinary despite his circumstances. The shame is that he feels so much shame that he doesn't recognize how exceptional he is. He tried to escape his old life, and it worked for awhile. His wife and son likely kept him grounded and hopeful, though, he seemingly regresses after her death. He thinks he's moved on from all the past bullshit, but his downfall is his preoccupation with his past. Naming his son "blessing" is so beautiful, despite him being an absent father.

Him recognizing his son in his final moments, and showing relief at his outcome